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 Heir's Hideout

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Heir_of_Eragon

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Posts : 155
Join date : 2010-01-17
Age : 23
Location : Condracore, Messier 106

PostSubject: Heir's Hideout   Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:04 am

I can't write roleplay like i used to be able to. now i'm writing dramatic short stories and tragic romances and ridiculous poetry of all sorts. thought i might share one here every now and then. i'll keep reading the roleplay, of course, and if ever i see a place i think i could jump in with something interesting, i guess i'll just have to come crash the party.

this is one of my more-recent poems, btw. sounds silly, in my own opinion.


My tears come down with the rain so nobody notices.
My cries cut through the air like crows searching for food,
But no faster than the pain cuts through my open wounds.

I'll just lay here and look up at the strange new world.
Where'd she go? Will I ever know?
How can I call myself sane when someone's got my mind?

Will I see a new dream--
Or another threatening mirage?
I can't trust my own eyes.

When night arose, I woke up again.
All the dark clouds were gone.
But so were the stars.
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darkestflame
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Posts : 262
Join date : 2010-01-16
Age : 25
Location : Waiting for the day.

PostSubject: Re: Heir's Hideout   Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:09 am

<3 Not bad at all.
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Heir_of_Eragon

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Posts : 155
Join date : 2010-01-17
Age : 23
Location : Condracore, Messier 106

PostSubject: Re: Heir's Hideout   Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:41 pm

Thank you darkest. Smile but i did think it was a little.. rugged. so i changed lines 2 and 5. the new results were...

My tears come down with the rain so nobody notices.
Like crows searching for food, my cries cut through the air,
But no faster than the pain cuts through my open wounds.

I'll just lay here and look up at the strange new world
I'm about to drown in. Where'd she go? Will I ever know?
How can I call myself sane when someone's got my mind?.

Nobody EVER eat at McDonalds. The place supports hell's kitchen. (not the show, i'm talking about the place. its behind the counters of McD's. Razz)
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